The Talk

Periods are the actual worst thing that ever happened to me. While I am eternally grateful that Aunt Flo decides to pay me a visit every single month, it’s up for no debate that it sucks. I often think about the women who don’t get their periods every month and know that I shouldn’t be complaining because my body is functioning properly, but it’s hard to celebrate something that literally sucks the life out of you. Like literally, the unfertilized baby in my uterus is actually coming out of me.

Contrary to how things may seem, a woman's period is not just bleeding. For some of us, that’s the easy part. Fun fact, a menstrual cycle lasts three whole weeks! So on average, women get like one week every month to feel like a normal person. Assuming that all the men have left the chat at this point, I feel that I have a safe space to talk about how disgusting and miserable I feel throughout my menstrual cycle in hopes that most people relate, if not, maybe I need to speak to my OB/GYN.

The emotional toll that my cycle takes on me is embarrassing, to say the least. Like, who knew PMS could cause you to feel depressed? And there isn’t an exact reason other than, I'm soon going to start my period. While hitting up google for a satisfying session of self diagnosing, I realized that it’s kind of normal. I also realized that with age, it gets worse. So that’s something to look forward to.

There are a lot of women who experience depression during the different phases of their cycle. Most of these women have a history of depression and menstruation is a trigger. Now this isn’t a lesson about periods, we all have one so we know the vibes, but it is important to note that we aren’t in this alone. If anything I hope that me writing this makes someone else feel just a little bit more comfortable with themselves to know that there is at least one other person who can relate to them.

When going through my cycle I feel crippled. I don't want to leave the house, I want to stay in my bed until I feel like myself again. I want to watch movies that make me cry, and eat snacks that will definitely make my stomach hurt. The problem sets in when I know that there are things that I need to be doing. I should not allow my life to stop because I’m getting my period. Beyoncé could not be Beyoncé if she allowed her period to take her down right? However, these thoughts are the exact start of a depressive episode. Self deprecation, but not in the funny way.

The realization that this is all just a phase is probably the most beneficial piece of advice I can give. I like to let my emotions be felt so that I can understand how far it may actually go and then treat it. For instance, September is Fashion month, and I am a fashion editor in training. In hopes that one day someone will see my work and decide that they would like to pay me for it. So being depressed and not looking at anything fashion related or writing for two weeks is 100% self sabotaging, but I hope to never allow that to happen again. Knowing that I did allow it to happen, and the instant regret that I feel when I’m starting to feel a bit normal, will prayerfully be enough motivation to allow me to push through this phase, or at least plan accordingly when it inevitably happens again.

Everyone has different coping mechanisms for their cycle, and I can’t speak on what will and won't work for different people. What I do know is that we need to normalize talking about our period. Like yeah, I’m crying, and I’m sad because I’m watching a show and my favorite ship just ended. That’s okay. Yes I did get mad at my boyfriend because he didn’t want to watch Real Housewives with me. That’s okay! We are not in this alone. Having a period sucks, but at least we aren’t boys. Right?